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Various life blogs
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ABUNDANT BLESSINGS"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.........."
July 19 THIS 'N THATAs usual, I have to spend at least one sentence apologizing for not blogging more often. Between my real life and my second life, I just don't have a lot of time.
My real life has been busy of late; I spent a week in Philadelphia at the SWC convention. It was even more wonderful than the last one, kudos to the con chairs, they went over the top to make sure we had a good time, informative workshops, interesting side trips. There was plenty of social time, bar time, time to commune with my friends, many of whom I see once a year, at this convention, wherever it may be.
After the con, I flew to Cancun for a weeks vacation with my family. Internet access rates in Cancun are over the top, and so we made a concious decision not to utilize the internet while we were there. Yes, we could have afforded it, but it was a principle, a choice, not to 'buy in'. We also didn't turn on the tv while there, and other than text messages, did not answer our phones. Our relatives who stayed at home knew that we would only answer text and so, unless it was an emergency, don't call. They pretty much didn't. My kind, gentle giant of a stepson, Raphael, stayed with my mother while we were gone. He knew we would answer the phone for him, that if he called, it would be important. He didn't have to call, his care for my mom was peaceful and uneventful.
We had a great time in Cancun, we took a 'Mayan Ruins' tour to the Yucatan, and did some downtown shopping, otherwise, just hung out at our beautiful resort with a private beach and relaxed. We all came home tanned and rested and looking forward to our next time together.
My CI had issues during this trip; the heat and humidity really put it to the test. It is flagging but hanging in there, I have an appointment with my audiologist to get a replacement processor and to get a mapping August 6. Hope I can hang in until then. Today is first day home. As I over packed everything I own practically, I have a ton of laundry to do, and basic housecleaning. It's not too bad. I brought some very good memories back with me.
While I was gone, a dear friend was hospitalized. Another has to have heart blockage removal surgery next week. Another had a personal life crisis. I care for all these people. They are my friends and I am praying for their safe recovery.
Another few days and back to work. And life goes on.............. May 15 Garbage, Don't Claim it, Don't Make it Your Own!I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when, suddenly, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... 'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't May 14 GETTING USED TO "DIFFERENT" MAY NOT BE A BAD THINGGetting used to incorporating a different type of behavior in a situation where you have always behaved another way, is trying. This is just a life pondering, on 'the way to be'. I am outspoken, affectionate, sometimes aggressively so, with people I really care for. Sometimes, we need to take a step back, notice how our behavior may appear to another. A self review can change the way the feeling is inappropriately expressed, perhaps. I am wordy, expressive, quick with the rhetoric. It's why I am sucessful in business/career. But on a personal front, I tend to carry that over into areas where I should be more reserved, thoughtful, and yes, downright quieter. It's something to work on, a tweakable personality trait. I am grateful for those who care enough about me to still be there, in spite of it.
There are some people (Pearl for one) that you can just let your hair down and whatever comes out of your mouth is acceptable to her, because it's after all, how you feel! (Cathy too for the most part, although she and Pearl butt heads way more than I butt heads with either of them) she loves me because of and in spite of what I may say. She is very easy to talk to/with and there's never a need to mince words. I need to remember that everybody doesn't love me like that and that everything that comes into my head doesn't have to come out of my mouth (or off of my keyboard) I mention Pearl and Cathy in particular because we have that '3 Musketeer' thing going.
I tell Tamara this very thing all the time, she is very like me in that way, we laugh about it. I say Tamara, there was no need to say that, just because you thought it. *LOL* It's an open-ness that exists in both of our personalities that is sometimes a good thing and occasionally, not. I am working on being more aware of my outward musings, I never mean to offend. *EXAMPLE*: Imagine Tamara and Andre', coming down a long elevator ride from the top of the Marriot building, downtown San Diego; The elevator is packed, they are on the 30-something floor. Suddenly, Tamara focuses on her father: "DAD! Is your shirt supposed to be black or brown? I think it's supposed to be black but now it's fading and it almost looks brown, dad you should tell Linda to wash with color safe bleach so these things don't happen, it's really a ratty looking shirt dad, did you even notice it looks brown? Oh, and DAD! Did you put some lotion on your elbows this morning, because................." Andre' doesn't say a word in response or defense of his poor shirt. Just stands there with his ears burning, praying for the elevator to reach the bottom, quickly.
You get the drift..........
On a more interesting note, con time is getting closer! Just a few more weeks and I'll be trying to pack my cutest and coolest outfits to head to Philly. (Andre' says, 'why do you need a new one, you already have one'. (whatever 'one' may be at the time, lol) Well, I need a new 'one' because I wore the old one last year and...........*should be obvious*
I'll be 'officially opening' the SWC Convention, with a brief speech before the first workshop begins. I thought of terping for myself and signing the speech. On second thought, I'm not that good. If I'm signing I can't talk and if I'm talking I can't sign and..........I'll call on our official con terp to step up and terp for me, that should certainly flow much better, lol.
Linda
Another Day in La La Land May 01 On Being DeafOn being deaf: I never had a problem identifying myself as deaf. To me it means an inability to function in the hearing world, without equipment. That's about it for my definition. sure I have a tiny bit of residual hearing. So what? It doesn't benefit me. More often than not, it's like a pesky fly that buzzes in your face every now and then, and then flies away. People can get very ticky with their own personal definitions of deaf, because it's so hard for late deafened to admit they've lost such a vital sense. So they go through all the little ways we have of saying, "I"m not REALLY deaf, I just don't hear well". For me, the sooner I admitted to being deaf, and began announcing it to anyone within earshot (pun intended) the more I began to help myself, and to educate others on what it meant not to hear, and how they could still communicate with me, if they cared to do so. People have dropped away over the years; it's a lot of effort to communicate with me. Is it worth it? I like to think so but maybe some don't. I have to accept that as a choice they've made and have it be ok. I found that it only benefitted ME when everyone that I interacted with, understood that positive interaction with me meant dealing a little differently. To stand tall and proclaim, YES, I am deaf! allows me to then begin to advocate. To educate. To show others that deaf doesn't equal stupid and that I am worth knowing. That I still have value and that I still have big brain power. That I am still me. Visit the SWC Blog today, at http://ahearingloss.wordpress.com/ and see more input on this topic. I chose to put my opinion here on my own blog. Does being deaf define me? No. Is it part of who I am? Yes, absolutely. I was hearing, and now I am not, and I am different, and live my life differently because of it. It was't the end of my world to lose my hearing (although I may have felt that way, at the time) it was the beginning of a new, and, I like to think, better me. Someone who can now look with eyes of compassion and empathy on people who are differently abled. I like that 'me' ok. April 24 JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS........It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Ever had a bad day? Things just didn't go right for you? Then life seemed to acquire a domino effect, and it was one thing after another, all bad? That was my day, yesterday.
Work sucked, home sucked, the internet sucked. Just couldn't get happy, which is out of character for me. But hey, it happens to everyone.
One piece of nice news, I found out a beloved friend of mine is reading my blog. Hi Nicolo! Knowing he is reading inspired me to actually blog today, been a couple months. Nicolo is an art curator, on the east coast. He is smart, fun, funny and I am proud to call him friend.
Life at home is difficult right now. My mother, who has been pretty stable for past several years, took a sudden downturn. She is 92. Began having mobility issues, bladder control issues. I no longer feel comfortable leaving her at home alone. It's easy to lay guilt on me. I put it on, and wear it like a mantle. I promised my father before he died I would not put her in a nursing home. I may have to break that promise. My life, and my husband's, is heavily impacted by her living with us, now that she is deteriorating rapidly, her care is starting to be beyond us. Friends say, you deserve a life, Linda, don't feel guilty. But it's hard. She is my mother, she took care of me when I was a child, and ill, and I just feel I should do the same now that she needs care. It's a puzzle. Will have to see what the near future holds, for her and for us.
One thing for sure, I need a vacation. Looking forward to the SayWhatClub convention, in Philadelphia in July. I'll be there for a week, and then fly straight from there to Cancun, where I will meet up with the rest of my family for a week at one of those all inclusive resorts.
The SayWhatClub conventions are a lifeline for me. There's nothing like being with my group of deaf/hoh friends, most of whom I only see once a year. Rooming with my 2 best girls, Cathy and Pearl (although I told them, I need a whole bed to myself!) it's a fun time. We'll ride the Philly Ducks, visit the art museum, which one of our members has lined up a special tour which will be CART-ed for us. I can't wait to see how they do that. Our CART person, Gayle, is a gem. She is hearing, of course, has to be to do what she does. But she has done CART for our cons for several years now. But how she will do it while we are walking/moving around the art museum is something I am very interested in, can't wait to see it. We will visit the Liberty Bell, (simply because we SHOULD!!!) we will have our workshops in the mornings, complete with breakfast, CART and ASL interpreter, and have our afternoons/evenings free for fun. We'll close down the bar, just visiting, and drinking coke. Don't have to drink alcohol to close down the bar, you know, it's the social time that is important. We will visit the vendors tables, and try out the latest hearing loss bells and whistles and assistive devices. We will shop at the Silent Auction. All 3 CI manufacturers will be there. It will be the biggest con we've had for awhile, and I can't wait! Just thinking about it lifts my mood.
I pray a wonderful day for all of you, my friends. I love you. February 05 Blogs, Hearing Loss and other Life HappeningsAgain, categories 'hearing loss' and 'Linda's Life ' mix and meld on my blog as they do in life. Ok, so I haven't blogged since January 11th. There are a couple of you , out there, my girls, my sisters, (you know who you are) who know exactly why this is. Because I've been BUSY helping YOU with YOUR stuff. Now that you've given me a minute's break, I can work on MY stuff.
Ever feel like everybody wants a piece of you? It's not a bad thing, actually, means you must be doing something right, to be 'oh so wanted and desired'. Still, it can be exhausting, if one isn't careful, internet commitments and obligations can be just as valid as any other contract/promise, proven lately as upheld in court. You can even sue John Doe, if you met him online and don't know his real name.
Day to day life doesn't slow down one bit, but taking on more and more internet obligations can wear you out. So be careful, to take care of YOU, while you're making sure everyone else is cared for and ok.
A beloved friend subscribed to my blog today. Which reminded me that I haven't written in awhile, and can't imagine why he'd want to. My life lately has been work, work and more work. My extra-curriculars are falling by the wayside. I think of Pearl and her sabbatical; would I want a year? Nah, not really. Too long, I'd be bored in no time, and unlike her, I am NOT going back to school. I'd love a week. Just to chill, catch my breath, not get up at 5am.
This year, I'm saving my precious vacation time (the county is so stingy) for the SWC convention in Philly and then a week in Cancun with my family, about 20 of them. Do you know, that Andre' and I have never been on a vacation without the fam. We took 35 people with us, on our honeymoon cruise, and they have all travelled with us on every single vacation, ever since. As you all know, our family has shrunk since we married, in 1997, as all 5 of Andre's sisters are gone now, victims of breast cancer. But we still have plenty family members popping up ready to go on vacation with us. Including kids. Can't get rid of them, they come baaaaccckkkk.
I keep in touch with my brother in law, up at Folsom. I'm the only family member that does. We talk about how the fam has shrunk, but all of the males are still here. He is in a rather protected environment, in prison, diabetes and blood pressure issues well monitored and cared for. When I visit him, he looks healthier than any of us. But, I digress.
The point was, that my vacation time is always chock full of, well, vacation. Never just chill out, stay home, relax a bit time. And that's what I'm missing. Some 'me' time. I'm going to lobby for it and make it a priority. Just a day, maybe 2. For me. Is that too much to ask? We'll find out, keep you posted. January 11 REBOOTING THE HEART, INSTALLING LOVE> > Technical Support > > > > Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed? > > Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do > I do first? > > Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located > your Heart? > > Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it > okay to install Love while they are running? > > Tech Support: What programs are running ? > > Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and > Resentment running right now. > > Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your > current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it > will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually > override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self- > Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. > Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn > those off ? > > Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? > > Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke > Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and > Resentment have been completely erased. > > Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that > normal? > Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. > You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the > upgrades. > > Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - > Program not run on external components." What should I do? > > Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to > run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet > been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you > have to Love yourself before you can Love others. > Customer: So, what should I do? > > Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following > files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your > Limitations. > Customer: Okay, done. > > Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system > will over-write any conflicting files and begin patching faulty > programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all > directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely > gone and never comes back. > > Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is > playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves > all over My Heart. Is this normal? > > Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually > everyone gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and > running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure > to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in > turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you. > > Customer: Thank you God. > > > >
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